So, of course there's this boy. He's no ordinary boy...as one can tell from my previous entry. I've never liked anyone more...when I went to his house he played me some love songs. =) Here's the lyrics to one. Then the one that I'm listening to currently is the other one that he played for me. It made my heart do flippy things. =D So now I'm positive that he likes me...he's just taking forever to ask. Oh well. He makes me happy.

I remember trying not to stare
The night that I first met you
You had me mezmorized
And three weeks later
In the front porch light
Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn't told you yet
I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life
Now you're my whole world
I just can't believe
The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea
Stronger than its ever been
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I remember taking you back
To right where I first met you
You were so suprised
There were people around
But I didn't care
I got down on one knee right there
And once again
I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life
Now you're my whole world
I just can't believe
The way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea
Stronger than its ever been
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I can just see you
With a baby on the way
I can just see you
When your hair is turning grey
What I can't see
Is how I'm ever gonna love you more
But I've said that before

Now you're my whole life
Now you're my whole world
I just can't believe
The way I feel about you girl
We'll look back someday
At this moment that we're in
And I'll look at you and say
And I thought I loved you then

And I thought I loved you then

The fact that this is actually happening is almost impossible for me to fathom. Two of my closest, and best, friends have already randomly turned their backs on me. And while that set me back and hurt me too, I overcame that obstacle and (hopefully) moved on. This, however is something I've never anticipated. My closest guy friend, the one that would come over sleep in my brother's room. The same best friend that held my hand through the creepy bug part of King Kong. (As cheesy as that sounds). The same best friend that I've had epic snowball fights with on frozen lakes with. The same best friend that listened to me with tears in his eyes when I told him about being sexually abused. The same best friend that I've stayed up till early morning hours watching Veggietales and talking with. The same best friend I can be completely myself around and he won't think I'm crazy or weird, and loves me for it. This best friend of mine is moving. And I'm probably only going to get to see him during the summer time. And sure we can talk online and whatnot, but its not the same. It was difficult for us to go without seeing eachother for more than three days. And now I'm going to have to wait for months just to see him and his smiling face. Wait to see his brown eyes sparkle as I make him laugh. Wait for him to tell me about his problems until I see him in person. And wait till summer to be his sister from another mister.

I love him. To put it quite frankly I do. And I can't imagine my life here without him making me laugh and making me feel beautiful. No one ever did that for me before, make me feel beautiful. And now, the one person I loved the most is leaving. His family is broken; and theres nothing I can do about it. I feel helpless.